My friend, Laura, over at B is For Bissonnette inspired me to write this post. (Thanks, Laura!) It started out as a comment on her recent post, but I decided it was getting rather long to leave as a comment, and would be beneficial for me to share with my readers as well. 🙂
Marriage preparation is vitally important, not only to assist in determining whether you are truly with the right person God has chosen for you as a lifelong partner, but also to aid in the forging of a foundation for a lasting and healthy relationship to be improved upon throughout your life together.
There are many great books to help in this endeavor. Laura listed a number of great ones; I’d like to add my own to that list.
This first one we used during our marriage prep, Things I Wish I’d Known Before We Got Married by Gary Chapman (Chapman is famously known for his book, The Five Love Languages — another essential-read for couples!) In this book, he gives some really great, down-to-earth advice about topics couples should discuss before marriage (and continuing after!). At the end of each short chapter, he provides a few questions which (hopefully) help lead into a discussion between a couple about the topic covered. We found these very helpful in discovering and opening up about topics we had overlooked or didn’t consider that important at the time. He covers a range of topics, from dealing with past baggage to jiving well with in-laws to dealing with pet peeves committed by your spouse.
The second is Dear Newlyweds by Pope Pius XII. I guess the audience for this book is more those who just got married, but it doesn’t hurt to get it on your bookshelf. If you’re anything like me, you’ve got a stack going that you’ll probably reach the end of by next year, so you might as well get it in the queue. 😉 Speaking of which, I actually haven’t read this yet but it was given to us by a friend for our wedding, and it is top on my spiritual reading ‘to-do list’. It’s been recommended by many couples who are friends of ours.
Sex and the Marriage Covenant was also given to us by our marriage prep counselor to read. It explains the meaning of sex and marriage, especially the Biblical basis, and discusses NFP, reasons for and against using it within marriage. It is more theoretical and intellectual, so a bit more dense to get through, and better read in small chunks. The author also co-wrote a book with his wife discussing NFP in a more practical light, as well as ecological breastfeeding (another good one) called Natural Family Planning : The Complete Approach. This book has sample charts as well as ones you can fill out yourself to help you in the NFP process. It is written in a question-and-answer format which I found more helpful than if it was written like a regular book.
Theology of the Body by Blessed Pope John Paul II is absolutely essential for married, religious and single alike. Although, unless you’re trained in theology, I would recommend reading one of the more explanatory texts, either Theology of the Body for Beginners or Good News About Sex and Marriage by Christopher West, first. It is rather difficult to get through on one’s own. I was fortunate to take a class on it in college, and even then found it a bit overwhelming at times. It has become a regular book I return to time and again as I always find new insight when I read it. JP II reveals wonderfully how beautiful human love can be when it is rightly ordered! (It reveals the divine!!)
It is rather wonderful that we have so many resources to learn about marriage and love! If only more people would take advantage of them (and follow their teachings!).
Do you know of other good ones to add to the list?